I Don't Mean To Brag

I have been to 12 continents, I have swam 12 seas and I have stayed up past 12 am. I can shoot a man with an unloaded gun, I can win Russian roulette with a fully loaded gun, and I can go online without asking my parents for permission. But I don't mean to brag.

At the age of 13, I gave my parents a 9 o’clock bed time, at the age of 7, I bought my 3rd car and at the age of 17, I did an awesome blog assignment. The Rock has to get bigger to play me, Chuck Norris has to make Dirk Puge jokes and my dad has to drive me to school.  When I'm bored, I walk on the Sun, when I'm thirsty, I drink the Ocean and when I'm angry, I slam the door. But I don't mean to brag. I speak Latin in Greenlandic Norse, I squat 750 with a shower rod and  I write prize winning cards to my grandparents. But I don't mean to brag.

The Forbidden City gave me a key, the U.N calls me for advice and the school calls my house when I'm sick. After the Americans kicked the British out, I kicked them out. After the 2004 tsunami happened, I beat up the ocean. After dark, I usually head home. In Britain, I made a royal guard smile, In Middle Earth, I see Sauron, and In your school, I will excel in life.

DIRK PUGE